‘His eyes are burning coals, his breath is fire, a crown of roses woven over his head.’

Week 36 of the Calendar Year

From my Journal

13th November 2024

A beautiful morning sit - fire burning quickly and strongly in my body. I invited the Christ as my True Self to be present. I’m longing to be able to accept, receive, integrate my higher self into my human beingness.

Soon, I feel the presence of Christ. (He does not have the form of a man, rather just a blaze of energy that I know is Christ.) I ‘see’ him as a shepherd. Then he is coming towards me. I see his eyes as burning coals, his breath as fire, a crown of roses woven over his head. He is holding a staff made of light. His heart is an open fire. Awe. Burning alive to perceive such sacred holiness. Then, looking deeper into his heart, I see his sacred heart as an exploding volcano. It is the sacred heart of creation emptying in an ongoing creation of life - hieroglyphs erupting as golden sparks and flames which I understand are the early forms of created life and beings.

Then I wonder, where am I in this seeing? Understanding arises that, in the exchange of hearts my heart is equally the sacred heart of creation - this primordial energy of creation is equally in my heart... that I hold this energy as much as it holds me.… Then I understand that I give birth to all creation... As I hold the cosmic egg in my womb and give birth eternally... I hold the sacred heart of creation in my heart... I give birth to the father from my womb... I am the mother. The union of divine masculine and feminine produces the cosmic egg which births the sacred heart as fire…. The waters of the womb carry the fire of birth and creation. Eternally, fire rises out of the water... the mother births the father and the cycle continues.

Father, Grandfather of the sacred fire. Mother, Grandmother of the holy waters. Fire and water in a dance of creation. I hold the waters of the cosmic womb and the fire of the sacred heart of creation. The flames pour forth as the language of love... as words of love, as books of love. Water sustains the fire, each needs the other. They balance each other. Fire and water balance each other. Earth and spirit balance each other.

I asked to see a hieroglyph and the image that emerged is a triangle with a very tightly coiled spiral going up the center of it. I see the spiral entering the horizontal base of the triangle from below and then emerging from the top point of the triangle. (I drew it in my journal and wrote: ‘A tight spiral penetrating the triangle.’)

Reflection in my journal. Water Woman and Fire Man. I realise I can only know myself properly when I pass beyond my finitude. Finite self-knowing, or one's self-knowing as finite, is not enough. By definition each of us points beyond the finite self to what is greater than finitude. Why do I keep trying to understand myself with finite ideas when I know in truth that who I am holds all finitude in itself…. I relate far more to the infinite than to the finite... the essence of who I am explodes the given boundaries of human self-definition. I draw another picture of the triangle and this time the spiral is only coming out the top part of the triangle, it’s no longer inside the triangle.

Image: "You who walked above the earth’ Mariusz Lewandowski

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